just thoughts

going to be posting random thoughts here and there...sorry if i jump all over the place hahaha:


i love when i come to Starbucks order my passion iced tea lemonade with 6 pumps of raspberry syrup...its so good and get the chocolate croissant or the morning bun. it makes me happy haha cause im a fatty


today is my final interview process for Apple so can't wait for that....been anticipating for it but its all in Gods hands...seriously i gave it to Him and if it's HIS will to get it then praise God...if not still..praise God!!


lately i feel out of place..why is that? i mean i let the past go and really moved on from who i was from the past and try to be loving, kind, and bring laughter into people's lives but yet i feel out of place? what do i mean here..? i'm not going to be vulnerable on here because i need to be wise with what i say but it hurts when you hear things about you that aren't true in a group where its suppose to be a COMMUNITY not some gossip, lies, half truth community. that's not community. whether its something big OR small or even both...you don't do that..and that's not what church is about. you thought they care about you or so they "say" they do...actions speak louder than words and you know when someone can be fake or whatever. i'm sick and tired of it .... really i want to rip their heads off but HAHAHA but you know what...whatever i know who i am and God knows and that's whats most important to me and i am who i am because God made me this way


this old harabolgee...came into my dads office moments ago and we were talking about my grandfather...i got really vulnerable haha and we were just talking about how he was back in the days and how he really cared for my dad..and yes we talked in korean i suck...like no joke lol but i understood everything so praise God for that at least lol...how he use to bring my dad sandwhiches every morning for lunch for my dad in the office...how he use to carry me when i was tired and weak..how he loved the lord so much and gave selflessly..whenever i talk about my grandpa i tend to get emotional and teary because i miss him so much and i was just smiling the same time as i was tearing up but i know he's in a better place of course and just miss him...


there are people who i need to catch up with but i find it so hard because we're all so busy...we all have different schedules and have our own lives right? i want to but yet i don't want to bother them...but they say the samething to me hahaha but i tell them i'm always willing to talk and listen :) but i guess people just too busy...and it sucks since you miss them but got to keep them close to your heart always :D thats most important thing..


i'm about to start taking vocal lessons and guitar lessons soon...i want to go to the next level with what God has blessed me with because ultimately it's his and i want to give him back so much more .... i've been wrestling with it..financially its going to hurt...but its something i love doing..music is one of my passion and i'm going to keep going with it till i die! haha :)


that's all for now till next time...


oh Lord, you're beautiful.