coming back from young adult retreat was such a blessing for me personally. God renewed hearts, spoke with such life and truth, reconciled relationships, and most of all knowing that we belong to Him. during the prayer time i couldn't help but just to simply cry out to the Lord, not seeking for attention but just keeping it between me and daddy. i've been wrestling with something for awhile now and it was eating me away slowly, each day and night i found myself more depressed, more hurt, more confused, more lonely, and more broken most of all. i finally gave it to the Lord and i knew i couldn't carry on with it anymore in my heart. i wanted to bring it up the feet of Jesus and simply ask Him to carry me on His shoulders, wrap me in His loving arms that embraces, and be with Him.
it's been hard because i am getting what i asked for from the Lord which is to trust in Him more and going deeper but also at the same time feeling like your closest friends don't really have the same care, love, or respect for you anymore. hearing rumors, false lies, and being slandered and that affecting not only me but my friends was the biggest hurt that i've had to deal with. sometimes i ask "GOD! FATHER! Why?!" it feels so unfair, i lost close people in my life who i never thought i would lose...... i was feeling that for the past couple months now and honestly speaking, it still hurts when i think about it but i know that i don't find my worth through people or what i do, i AM a child of God and nothing will ever stop that or come between that. finding my place within the Lord is always a hard thing but it's something i believe God is taking me through with my character..
listening to PJ's sermon today on rest was just awesome and spoke a lot of truth and conviction into my heart. one thing that stood out of the other things(which were all good points) is that in order for us to rest and taking our sabbath, we must find ourselves or rather yet, our worth through God and not the things that are happening in your life. too much have i gone forcing myself thinking that i could do it on my own..if i just try to forget about certain situations...or finding more things to say but those are lies from the enemy. we find our worth through Jesus because He declared that it was finished when He was on that cross and saw that "it was good".
Daddy, come and make me whole like you, i want to dance with you when you sing over me, i want to be close to you when i feel like when i'm all alone, i want to be carried by you when i fall, you be the water that i thirst and long for, you wipe all of my tears with your gentle hands, you whisper love songs into my ears which brings life, you restore my heart because you are the restorer and the re builder, so daddy, come and take me as your loving bride with your loving grace and mercy. you are quick to love and slow to anger, in my brokenness...you make me whole and you put the pieces back together. daddy, i want to fall in love with you more each day so take me deeper with you..i can never have enough of you, you are so good and your perfect love endures forever. come and take this brokenness away and make me into your image daddy. come.
.AMEN.
it's been hard because i am getting what i asked for from the Lord which is to trust in Him more and going deeper but also at the same time feeling like your closest friends don't really have the same care, love, or respect for you anymore. hearing rumors, false lies, and being slandered and that affecting not only me but my friends was the biggest hurt that i've had to deal with. sometimes i ask "GOD! FATHER! Why?!" it feels so unfair, i lost close people in my life who i never thought i would lose...... i was feeling that for the past couple months now and honestly speaking, it still hurts when i think about it but i know that i don't find my worth through people or what i do, i AM a child of God and nothing will ever stop that or come between that. finding my place within the Lord is always a hard thing but it's something i believe God is taking me through with my character..
listening to PJ's sermon today on rest was just awesome and spoke a lot of truth and conviction into my heart. one thing that stood out of the other things(which were all good points) is that in order for us to rest and taking our sabbath, we must find ourselves or rather yet, our worth through God and not the things that are happening in your life. too much have i gone forcing myself thinking that i could do it on my own..if i just try to forget about certain situations...or finding more things to say but those are lies from the enemy. we find our worth through Jesus because He declared that it was finished when He was on that cross and saw that "it was good".
Daddy, come and make me whole like you, i want to dance with you when you sing over me, i want to be close to you when i feel like when i'm all alone, i want to be carried by you when i fall, you be the water that i thirst and long for, you wipe all of my tears with your gentle hands, you whisper love songs into my ears which brings life, you restore my heart because you are the restorer and the re builder, so daddy, come and take me as your loving bride with your loving grace and mercy. you are quick to love and slow to anger, in my brokenness...you make me whole and you put the pieces back together. daddy, i want to fall in love with you more each day so take me deeper with you..i can never have enough of you, you are so good and your perfect love endures forever. come and take this brokenness away and make me into your image daddy. come.
.AMEN.
i really appreciate the pure honesty of this post. i was reading a passage earlier this week and thought of it..
ReplyDelete1 Peter 5:6-7
God sees your humbleness and will lift you up in his perfect timing :)